Japanese Language Club South Africa

Author name: Precious Molobye

Being South African and having to learn to “read the air” in Japanese work and social culture

Photo by Owen Ishii. How well you can kuuki o yomu—空気を読む—  or rather “read the air” is quite an important feat in your survival skills when living in Japan. As a South African, experiencing this enigma firsthand has been a challenge, but it has also been fun, sparking curiosity in me as I go about my daily life. I have a few examples that would be difficult to understand if you’re also like me, not a seasoned reader of Japanese air. I was shopping for a few vegetables and meats after hours at my local grocery store. It was  20:00 on a weekday, and around that time, many people were still shopping or browsing aisles, from salarymen to your late-night studying high schoolers, and busy mothers. At a certain point, a specific song will echo across the whole grocery store to indicate that it is time to go. This song is a subtle, nonverbal signal that it is time to exit the grocery store. The song is usually a cheerful, catchy sing-along tune, and of course, I had no clue of its message. While I would still be standing by the tofu selection aisle, trying to decipher what it was I was looking at, the locals were already in line to pay and ultimately leave. Once I caught on, I could tell when to leave the department store or a mall. These small attention to details may get you out of trouble and save you from misunderstandings—you just need to know the “please go home tune”. You need to read the air. It simply became part of daily life. What does “reading the air” actually mean? This means recognizing unspoken cues, nonverbal language, and reading between the lines at all times, to gauge the mood and context, and thus act professionally and socially at all times. You need to hone the skill of understanding what is not being said, or not being said directly and indirectly. Compare this to South Africa, where someone would probably tell you, “Excuse me, we are about to close now.” This clear, almost confrontational way of communicating is expected when you are from a low-context culture like South Africa. The difference between high-context and low-context cultures lies in their communication styles and tones in social settings. High-Context and Low-Context Cultures I will use South Africa and Japan to demonstrate the differences between these two cultural approaches to communication, noting that these are circumstantial. High-context cultures rely on body language, tone, and overall context for communication. In these cultures, people often leave things unsaid to maintain harmony and support the group. In contrast, low-context cultures tend to communicate in a straightforward and direct manner. South Africa, for example, can be categorised as a low-context culture. Pay attention to the service people One memory that stands out for me is when my friend from Wakayama visited me in Tokyo. We spent an entire day exploring different neighborhoods. Thanks to Tokyo’s walkability, we strolled from Shibuya to Harajuku, then to Daikanyama, and finally ended up in Ebisu. By the end of the day, we were exhausted, but the night was still young. We stumbled upon a traditional Japanese bar on the third floor of a narrow building. The menus and signs were all in Japanese, which indicated that this spot was mainly frequented by locals. We decided to go in. As the evening progressed, we enjoyed ordering small dishes and having endless conversations. The customer service was exceptional, as expected. However, as closing time approached, the staff began offering us “o cha” (おちゃ), which is green tea. This was their way of subtly indicating that it was time for us to settle our bill and leave. We were not reading the air. How were we supposed to know that being offered green tea multiple times also meant, “This is your exit drink; it’s time to go”? You wouldn’t know unless you’ve learned to read the subtle cues and how you think something can mean one thing to you, but in fact, it means something entirely different. Needless to say, we settled the bill, apologised for staying too long, and left. They had given us one last signal; the dimming of lights—that sign I could understand. What reading the air taught me about Japanese culture is that you are required to know when to speak, when not to speak, when to understand what is being said, and what is not being said. This forces you to learn how to navigate many situations, wherever life takes you. I have also learned that you cannot change what has worked for others for many generations; it is either you adapt or go. In conclusion, kuuki wo yomu is like reading between the lines, except the lines are written in Japanese!

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The culture of Kokuhaku: Confessing your love for someone- Japanese style!

February is the month of love, which got me thinking about a unique phenomenon that occurs almost daily in Japanese culture: the Kokuhaku (告白/ こくはく) or love confession. I have been a high school teacher for many years in Tokyo, where I have witnessed this culture unfold right in front of me, especially during Valentine’s day. The high school girls go into a frenzy, and as a foreigner witnessing this, was really fascinating. This word is more than just two simple Kanji phrases combined. It is almost one of those coming-of-age aspects of Japanese culture, where you have to confess to your beloved before you officially get into a relationship. It is an actual thing. When I was a teacher in the JET Program, and living in Japan for some time, some of my high school students around the time of valentines would disclose their love interests and would show me the letters they wrote. As well as relaying exactly when they would hand them out to which specific boy. These confessions are quite serious and require a huge amount of bravery. I must say that the kokuhaku culture is common, not only with high school students but with adults as well. This is the ultimate Japanese way for setting your intentions clear, and also a way to start a serious relationship with someone special. The actual dating will take place after, depending on whether the confession was accepted or not. Firstly, when someone “kokuhakus” they are looking to get serious about their feelings towards someone. Often with the hopeful outcome of a romantic relationship. Secondly, let us explore how one would say it. I have heard this many times in the corridors of my high school from beaming teenagers screaming in anticipation to the person to whom their affection is directed and hopefully reciprocated. Usually, I heard my students say this for a confession;  好きです (suki desu; I like you), which is followed by 付き合ってください (tsukiatte kudasai, “please go out with me”). This is a simple exchange, but packed with lots of courage and bravery! As a South African, this way of doing things may sound counter-intuitive and perhaps strange. Because in Western culture, it is normal to do things differently. Because in Western culture, it is normal to do things differently. What stands out to me about the Kokuhaku culture, and leaves many questions answered,  is its effectiveness, and how practical it is in facilitating healthy dating processes. It is a bit different to how we sometimes do things in South Africa, or in the West. Do we have “confessions” in South African culture? It seems that in other parts of the world, you would go on dates, to establish rapport over time, and whether you like this person and then gradually fall into a relationship. However, with the kokuhaku culture, it takes a very different, interesting order of events. Where are you reading this from? I would love to know your thoughts about the kokuhaku culture and how different or even similar it is to you! Written by Precious Molobye for JLCSA

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Christmas in Japan x KFC mania

Fried Kentucky chicken is synonymous with Christmas in Japan, and it’s not just a small-scale occurrence; it’s a significant cultural event. This is somewhat similar to how the “Choice Assorted” biscuits are associated with Christmas in South Africa. If you find yourself in Japan during December, you’ll witness the holiday frenzy that captivates the Japanese people. Long queues form as families order buckets of chicken weeks in advance of Christmas Day. As a South African, I was fascinated by this Christmas tradition, so let’s explore it further. Growing up in South Africa, I have always seen KFC as just another fast-food option to satisfy cravings. It’s a routine activity with no special meaning attached to it. In contrast, when Christmas arrives in Japan, there’s a genuine celebratory atmosphere, as it’s a time for families and friends to feast together. The unique aspect of Japanese Christmas meals often includes KFC—reminiscent of their own fried chicken known as “karaage” and enjoyed with a slice of strawberry shortcake. This combination speaks volumes about their culinary traditions. Imagine the culture shock for a young South African girl who loves ordering Zinger Wings from the KFC menu, only to discover that Zinger Wings aren’t available in Japanese KFCs. I vividly remember my first visit to a KFC in Shinjuku, Tokyo. I walked in filled with expectations and nostalgia, desperately searching the menu for something familiar—some sign of home—but to no avail. I ultimately ordered a spicy chicken wrap, thinking, “This should taste universal.” Instead, I found it filled with beetroot slices and carrots. The idea that KFC is considered a celebratory meal has continued to intrigue me about Japanese culture. I also recall a colleague who left work early on Christmas Eve to buy KFC for his family. He simply said, “It’s the best way to beat the long lines. See you!” In just one day, I experienced life lessons and cultural surprises—such is Japan! Thank you for reading. Contributed for JLCSA by Precious Molobye

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